The circumstances I am conditioning myself to, out of conscious choice are of different kind in nature. It is a drift from surrealism to realism. It is like trying to look beyond the Matrix as said by Morpheus to Neo. This perspective really makes me wonder: Yes, this was always there, but darn, I, like the majority of the others hadn’t observed it all!

There have been a lot of changes, hopefully all for good, but there is an apparent under utilization of the skills and resources under my own disposal.

While the responsibility and dedication towards the tasks I have taken up has certainly increased, there is a subtle sensation of lethargy which is creeping up in an almost parallel manner. Allocating and utilizing time effectively was one trait in me which I hadn’t worked consciously upon, but had evolved to the best. These days, I am having to put in extra effort to see that I utilize the time with my resources in the best possible manner. There is a disconnect developing, and to keep myself aware of it, and to better this syndrome is why this open contemplation is happening.

Increasing distractions would certainly top the list of factors that have put me into this circumstance. Some are necessary, few are involuntary and while the other are parasitic in nature. These are generic to anyone I understand, but when I categorize my own, I am kind of startled. This does require a little bit of sorting to be done.
I do not believe in curbing an instinct which is developed, but only to grow it out. While suppression is bad, transcendence positions itself as the apt solution.

My role models have all been exemplary examples of absolute dedication. After incorporating lot of their ideas into me, I am now attempting to emulate this essential aspect of theirs.