My mail ID and most of my netizen identities are “raghuarr”. And very few might expect that the arr appending is really for AR Rahman!

Before almost ten years, when still in school, it incidentally also happened to be the most intense phase of my life with turmoils that are yet to get worse in my life; this,  coupled with my unrelenting ‘migraine’ attacks, I had nothing but two avenues then to appease myself – one of which has continued until date and will remain until the end of my time.

The only respite as far as I remember seeking then was to meditate at the Saint Raghavendra Mutt (not me, but the saint I am named after :P) in Sanjaynagar, at least twice a week and a regular dosage of some of the best music which would go on to change me forever.

In times of crisis, music had entered my life – very late, but with a tsunamic impact. My only solace as I see it now was music and nothing could connect to me better than one person’s creation – AR Rahman. All the music I was discovering and able to connect to were all had one thing in common – AR Rahman, and once this connection was established I consciously pursued all the music by the genius, and I only felt more closer to myself.

People might criticise anything and everything, and I do realise in many cases criticism might even be valid. But, to me, music emanating from Rahman was not a mere piece of creativity or a commodity in market open to be measured or compared with anything else. No other composer, until later on when I discovered Bryan Adams had such consistent impact on me.

Being lonely even when people are around sometimes might be a gift, but when the mind is frail and weak it is a very bad state to be in. Rahman’s music has been that bond which has kept me bound to myself. I have questioned ‘Why his music’ many times, and I have failed to explain it to myself!

Maybe even this is like falling in love 🙂 Reasons no longer matter, just the healing impact and the deep bond is what matters.

AR’s compositions are layers of sublime music interleaved with the craftsmanship of a creative genius of the highest caliber. Every layer as they are unleashed in his songs, trigger a new impact; the consistent bass throughout like one’s heart beats are subtle yet powerful. His music has characteristics like a person I admire – facets, dimensions, emotions, serenity and connection.

AR’s songs playing in my ears, eyes shut and laying on my bed with lights off is bliss of the highest order that I can bestow on myself.

I might seem biased or blindly fanatic about his music; But I have all my reasons to cling on to his works as I do now. Again I reiterate, it is more than a commodity for savoring – it in many times has been that consoling friend, the companion when alone, and the joy of celebration. Epochs in my life have AR’s music stamp!

The first bit of money I ‘earned’ was as a personal tutor to one kid, after my class ten; I bought the audio cassette of Boys by A R Rahman,and I still remember the whole experience of listening to those tracks on my tape recorder for the first time! Still stands out as one of my favorite albums by him.

Fanaticism comes with a hint of irrationality, and I don’t mind in this case, for, this gray area in my rationalism does give me solace and joy like no other. Raghuarr is an identity true to its sense.

Like reading has built me, listening to AR has kept me composed, and really…