It is said that you are your true self when left alone.
Based on no reading or listening, but my own experience, I can argue that the true self is manifested to the next level, when with the right companion.
When alone, our personality sheds the facade and hypocrisy it would have adorned voluntarily or involuntarily to please or displease the world. Without this masquerade, a person feels light and in some cases scared of himself/herself.
We are all flawed, and sometimes tipping the balance are some traits and talents in us, giving us a positive persona. These traits in us are best manifested not when alone, but when involved piously with the ‘right’, resonating companion.
An attribute that might seem normal, or even mediocre to the self, when exposed to this external mirror of a person, seems worthy and it does take us by surprise. A principled thought, an inner idea, sense of humor, skill of articulation, gestures, sounds and most mannerism involuntary to the self, seem important because the other person regards these with a sense of preciousness. Suddenly, the self is conscious of the nuances in itself; those it hadn’t bothered about for long. The sense of fulfillment that swells inside when such meticulous appreciation or admiration is shown in a genuine spirit is pampering first, and also gratifying.
Likewise, there are gnawing aspects in our personality which we learn to live with – sadness, anguish, pain, trauma and despair. Left alone, these again seem obvious and we do not question the need or origin for this negativity. On the other hand, when it is the person outside with whom we have to gauge our emotions and it is only then the existence of this negativity in us acknowledged by the self. Now that it has been acknowledged, the quest to understand oneself is embarked upon – Level 2.
The resonance one seeks to accomplish with another like minded person, when finally occurs, heralds a new era of self understanding, which is beyond the capabilities of introspection; for, introspection is conservative to the extent that it wouldn’t try imagining scenarios the self cannot fathom. Whereas, when clubbed with the aspirations of ours residing in another mind, expectations can surpass that which the self cannot even anticipate, disappointments can be thought of beyond the cowardice of the self, and most importantly happiness can be imagined and created beyond the limitations of a lone mind.